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About the Author

Veret is a “disaffected twenty-something” who has long nurtured a love/hate relationship with videogames.  He is currently a writing major at an undisclosed university, where he frequently blows off an undisclosed amount of coursework to “research” various undisclosed games for his next post.  He thinks he is smarter than everyone else, and will happily enter a heated intellectual debate with little provocation.

Veret’s belligerent personality and frequent sarcastic remarks are a symptom of his crippling Napoleon complex, which itself is a result of his unusually small stature:

(Actual size)


Those wishing to contact the author must follow these steps with absolute precision:

  1. Send an email containing your questions, comments, or unbridled adulation to veret.intelligentgames@gmail.com.
  2. Place $500 (USD) in small, unmarked bills into an envelope.
  3. Seal the envelope and leave it in the main office of any federal, state, or local government building.
  4. By the light of the next full moon, sacrifice a live goat within the effective radius of your local sacred altar, magical hotspot, pagan ritual site, hellmouth, or confluence of ley lines.
  5. Remove the entrails of the goat and send them to:
            Ubisoft Headquarters, c/o Yves Guillemot, CEO
            28, rue Armand Carrel
            93100 Montreuil sous Bois
            Paris, France
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